Hey guys, how's it grooving?  Most of you know me from the message boards as Hdefined aka Mike aka Hdefined again.  And if you happen to not know me from previous contact, well then "hello" and allow my big hairy monster to hug your big hairy monster.  If time and Ted permit, and if I can keep a schedule, Two Left Feet will be a weekly "column" of sorts for the purpose of discussing Life, the Universe, and Everything.  Yes, heavy stuff.  We'll be dealing with philosophical subjects such as the origin of the universe, why guys probably are dumber than girls yet refuse to admit it, and why there are three separate grammatical spellings for the English word that should otherwise be spelled "thair."  Oh, and DDR too, that's why we're here (guess that answers one of life's greatest questions).
          You know, there's nothing quite like being sick to make you consider your very mortality (aside from standing on a steep ledge, or knife to the throat, or gun to the head, but I digress).  Being sick basically limits any physical DDR activity to the movement of the thumbs on a home console, and even that can present a challenge with the dizziness and weary focus that comes with the sickness package.  Yeah, it's pretty sucky and mocks the self-confidence: "Damn, I can't even beat Paranoia maniac on the controller.  I'm losing my skills.  My life is worthless now!"  A common cold can destroy a man's mind faster than his body; it's a tragic illness. 
           So what can possibly be done about this dire predicament?  Well, as Don Corleone once said after a benevolent slap to his godson's face, "You can act like a man!"  Besides, the game isn't going anywhere for the next couple years, and neither is its community.  These remain constant.  As long as there is love for DDR, as long as these message boards are updated and visited, as long as there are meetings and tournaments and challenges and bonds, there will be a machine and there will be people who play it, hence the divine equation known as MDDRL.  A cold cannot stop MDDRL.  MDDRL is the source of health, comfort, and satisfaction.  It is the antidote for any illness.  It's the remedy for what ails ya, the cure to lift us up from our mortality, and by God I want my medicine!

So in conclusion, I say: Kids, don't do drugs, do DDR. 

-Mike, Hdefined